Bringing Up Children – Part1

Most parents complain that the younger generation (their children) are dis-obedient, ill-mannered and disrespectful. It appears that the main cause of this rebellion lies in the fact that parents are neglecting to impart Islamic knowledge and tarbiyat to their children. On the contrary, parents are raising their children in a totally unIslamic environment and influencing them to act according to western ways, lifestyles and teachings. It should be clearly understood that it is the parents duty and responsibility and the right of the child that he receives true Islamic knowledge and tarbiyat.

1. The most important aspect in the upbringing of a child is to explain the child the purpose why Allah has created us and put us in this world. It should be explained to the child that Allah has sent us in the world for His worship as Allah says in the Qur’an:

و ما خلقت الجن و الانس الا ليعبدون

“And I did not create Jinn and Man but to worship Me.”

The second purpose Allah has put us [Ummat of Muhammad (s.a.w)] in the world is to do the work of inviting to good and stopping evil and propagate the religion of Islam as Allah says:

كنتم خير امة اخرجت للناس تأمرون بالمعروف و تنهون عن المنكر و توءمنون بالله

“You are the best nations taken out for (the guidance of) the people, commanding to good and prohibiting evil and believing in Allah.”

1. 1. The child should be taught to make salaam on coming in front of someone.
2. 2. The child should be taught to share. In this way he learns to become generous.
3. 3. When a child is given anything he should always be reminded that it is from Allah.
4. 4. Children who are studying should be given such nutrition which is good for the brain.
5. 5. You should instill the sunnah acts of eating, drinking, sleeping etc. in the child at a young age, so it becomes a habit of his and he never lets go of the sunnah of Rasoolullah (s.a.w).
6. 6. The children should be taught how to pray at an early age. It has been mentioned in the Hadith that the Prophet (s.a.w) said:

“Instruct (command) your children to perform salah when they are seven years old and beat them if they don’t perform salah when they are ten years of age.”

1. 1. Too much moral and ethical lecturing often bores the child and gradually loses its importance. The best way of making children learn things which you want them to, is to practice it yourself.
2. 2. Children have the habit of wanting what other children have. With wisdom the child should be taught not to demand from others as this bad habit is the result of greed and jealousy.
3. 3. When giving one’s child anything in the presence of another child ensure that the other child is also given something.
4. 4. Do not spoil the child by giving anything and everything he demands. This will cause the child to disrespect his elders.
5. 5. Let the habit be inculcated within him to admit his wrong and if he causes harm to someone, let him seek forgiveness from the wronged party. In this habit lies the protection of his faith and the necessary respect and comfort of the world. On the other hand neglect in this will inevitably result in pride and constant disrespect and dishonor.

By-A Sister U.S.A