Question:
My question is regarding parents fighting and being separated. They have been fighting my whole life with as time passes fights have gotten uglier with lots of physical and verbal abuse. Im married now and stay a few hours away from them but they still drag me into their arguments and both expect me to say they are right and the other is wrong. Im really tired and cant deal with it anymore, i just cant move on with my life and they keep dragging me down making me feel guilty that i am happy with my husband. What is the islamic ruling on parents who do that? How are kids suppose to deal with fighting parents? I dont want to be disobedient to them in any way because i fear Allahs punishment but i dont know what to do and how to deal with this?
Answer:
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
We understand your feelings and emotions of your parents fighting. We make dua Allah Ta’āla creates an amicable solution for them. Ameen.
We understand you are happily married and being dragged by both parents in their disputes. This is emotionally draining you. We advise you to draw a line between your past and present. You are now living with your husband and you have to be emotionally prepared to share your love and care with him. You cannot allow all your emotions be consumed by your parents fights and disputes and you don’t have to feel guilty that you are happy and they are fighting.
You should adopt a principle attitude and be kind to both parents without taking any one’s part. Make that known to both of them. Adopt a diplomatic approach and advise both of them to the best of your ability.
Identify an influential person in the family to intervene and help resolve and restore calm between them. Obviously your main support is dua and turning to Allah Ta’āla for a solution to their disputes.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
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