Dealing with emotional trauma due to discovering my husband’s immoral conduct


The problem I’m facing is my partner got involved with non-Muslim woman while I was away for a few months. He has repented for this sin & done tauba. I’m trying to come to terms of this whole situation, but I can’t get out of this, I really want to forget this as a bad dream & move on but the hurt & anger I cant let go.

Please help me as I’m a convert & need lot of sabr also. Appreciate if you can give me some duas so that I can move on as I love my husband a lot.


In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh

We understand the emotional trauma you experience due to discovering your husband’s immoral conduct. The challenge of life is in rising over and above your emotions, addressing issues and moving on with life. When rationale prevails, it is more likely you will succeed in your endeavour to address issues. It is imperative for one to rationally understand and address issues. One should not be governed by one’s emotions in such issues.

We advise you to sit your husband down and address your worries and concerns. Advise him that that you want him to understand your worries and you would like him to change his habits and mind-set to give you comfort and take you out of your grief and worry. There may be certain things which he would like to see in you which would make him love you more and stay away from going to other women. You should be open and ready to accept for the benefit of both of yo. You should not address him in a violent and abrupt way, rather you should be composed and diplomatic in your conduct with him. Remember you can get around your husband by being diplomatic and witty.

You know your husband best and you would know when and how best he could be approached to solicit a responsible response. Also, turn to Allah and make a lot of dua to Allah to guide you and to change your husband. You should also bring about a Deeni environment in your home. This will soften the heart of your husband and bring in him the Khauf and fear of Allah (Ta’ala).

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Checked and Approved,

Mufti Ebrahim Desai.


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