I met a boy at an Islamic convention. We were volunteering together, and had some small conversations here and there – nothing private, nothing haram, just plain old conversations. As the weekend drew on, I found myself growing more and more attracted to him.
It’s been almost a month and I am still experiencing feelings for him. I know it is haram to act on my feelings, though and I don’t really want to do anything haram but I do know that I want to have a halal relationship with him in the future but I’m not sure how.Please advise me on what to do. I am really confused and this is upsetting me.
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Sister in Islam,
You went to an Islamic Convention. It is obvious that you were motivated by your attachment for Islam and went there to empower and enhance your Islam. In an Islamic Convention, you expect an Islamic approach and not the opposite.
Intermingling of sexes is clearly haram, as that leads to immoral and illicit relationships. Consider the following verse,
[وَلاَ تَقْرَبُواْ الزِّنَى إِنَّهُ كَانَ فَاحِشَةً وَسَآءَ سَبِيلاً]
“And do not even draw (go) near to fornication (do not indulge in anything that may lead to it).” (Surah Al-Israa’: Ayat 32)
Your experience is a testimony to the reason for the prohibition of intermingling with the opposite gender. While you may have went to the Convention to build on your spirituality, you ended up harming your spirituality and developed a haram feeling for the boy.
Therefore, in future, never attend Conventions in the name of Islam unless it is truly Islamic.
There should be complete segregation between genders and that such gatherings are under guidance of Ulama-e-Haq, whose efforts are to direct the people towards Allah Ta’ala.
Nevertheless, our advice to you is that, if you feel that this boy may be suitable for you, you may bring this to the attention of your parents and seek their wise counsel on what you should do.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.