Question:
I was wanting to know how would a girl decide what exactly or much money should she set as her mahr?

I would like you to elaborate on mahr and the rulings about it. Also should a mahr be only a particular some of money or it could be anything, say a handwritten beautiful letter by the potential spouse?

Answer:

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

When a man gets married, it is waajib to give mahr to his wife. This is an injunction stated by Allah Ta’ala in the Quraan Majeed, Allah Ta’ala mentions:

وَٱلۡمُحۡصَنَٰتُ مِنَ ٱلنِّسَآءِ إِلَّا مَا مَلَكَتۡ أَيۡمَٰنُكُمۡۖ كِتَٰبَ ٱللَّهِ عَلَيۡكُمۡۚ وَأُحِلَّ لَكُم مَّا وَرَآءَ ذَٰلِكُمۡ أَن تَبۡتَغُواْ بِأَمۡوَٰلِكُم مُّحۡصِنِينَ غَيۡرَ مُسَٰفِحِينَۚ فَمَا ٱسۡتَمۡتَعۡتُم بِهِۦ مِنۡهُنَّ فَـَٔاتُوهُنَّ أُجُورَهُنَّ فَرِيضة وَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيۡكُمۡ فِيمَا تَرَٰضَيۡتُم بِهِۦ مِنۢ بَعۡدِ ٱلۡفَرِيضَةِۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيمًا حَكِيما

Translation:“(Also prohibited are) the women already bound in marriage, except the bondwomen you come to own. It has been written by Allah for you. All (women), except these, have been permitted for you to seek (to marry) through your wealth, binding yourself, (in marriage) and not only for lust. So, to those of them whose company you have enjoyed, give their dues (dowery) as obligated. There is no sin on you in what you mutually agree upon after the (initial) agreement. Surely, Allah is All-Knowing, All-Wise” Sura An-Nisa Ayah 24

The importance of giving mahr to the spouse is also understood from the following Hadith:

عَنْ سَهْلِ بْنِ سَعْدٍ، أَنَّ النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ لِرَجُلٍ‏ “‏ تَزَوَّجْ وَلَوْ بِخَاتَمٍ مِنْ حَدِيدٍ ‏“‏‏

Translation: Nabi Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam said to a man, “Marry, even with (a Mahr equal to) an iron ring.” Sahih al-Bukhari 5150

The minimum mahr according to the Hanafi school of thought is 10 Dirhams (approximately 31g of silver) or anything equivalent to that value.

There is no limit on the maximum mahr. However the wife should not demand exorbitant amounts. Once Umar Rِadiyallahu Anhu delivered a speech and said:

حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ عُبَيْدٍ، حَدَّثَنَا حَمَّادُ بْنُ زَيْدٍ، عَنْ أَيُّوبَ، عَنْ مُحَمَّدٍ، عَنْ أَبِي الْعَجْفَاءِ السُّلَمِيِّ، قَالَ خَطَبَنَا عُمَرُ رَحِمَهُ اللَّهُ فَقَالَ أَلاَ لاَ تُغَالُوا بِصُدُقِ النِّسَاءِ فَإِنَّهَا لَوْ كَانَتْ مَكْرُمَةً فِي الدُّنْيَا أَوْ تَقْوَى عِنْدَ اللَّهِ لَكَانَ أَوْلاَكُمْ بِهَا النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم مَا أَصْدَقَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم امْرَأَةً مِنْ نِسَائِهِ وَلاَ أُصْدِقَتِ امْرَأَةٌ مِنْ بَنَاتِهِ أَكْثَرَ مِنْ ثِنْتَىْ عَشْرَةَ أُوقِيَّةً

Translation: Do not go to extremes in giving women their dowry, for if it represented honour in this world and piety in Allah’s sight, the one of you most entitled to do so would have been Nabi Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam. The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) did not marry any of his wives or gave any of his daughters in marriage for more than twelve uqiyahs of gold (480 dirhams). Sunan Abi Dawud 2106

1) Mahr may be given in cash or kind, i.e. it may be in the form of jewellery/gifts etc. However it must be clearly stated that this is the mahr.

2) If a family has a set amount of mahr, as is the culture in some places, that could be stipulated as mahr. This is called mahr mithl.

3) The mahr that Nabi (Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) gave to most of his wives (except Umme Habibah (Radiyallahu Anha) and Umme Salamah (Radiyallahu Anha) is called Mahr Azwaj an-Nabi which is 500 Dirhams (approximately1531g of silver)

4) The mahr which Ali (Radiyallahu Anhu) gave Fatimah (Radiyallahu Anha) is called Mahr Fatimi. Which is 480 Dirhams (approximately 1470g of silver)ⁱ

Mahr is the right of the wife. She may stipulate whatever amount she wishes as long as it is not less than the minimum mahr amount. However she should consider the financial condition of the husband when stipulating her mahr.

A letter alone from the potential husband wont suffice as mahr.

Some general rules regarding mahr;

It is not necessary to mention the amount of Mahr at the time of nikaah. Some people stipulate large amounts of mahr just to impress the people, this is incorrect.

If no mahr is stipulated or if someone gets married on the condition that there is no mahr, the nikaah will be valid and mahr mithl will become waajib. If later the couple agree on a certain amount, then that amount will become the mahr.

If less than the minimum mahr is stipulated at the time of the nikaah, the minimum mahr will automatically become wajib.ⁱⁱ

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Checked and Approved by,

Mufti Ebrahim Desai.