The most positive women I know were not those who had no problems in life, but who were able to stay calm during them and reaped benefits from them. Our Islamic history gives us numerous examples of women who were the epitome of confidence, piety, and positivity.
If you ever feel that your life has overburdened you and you can no longer go through the turmoil, take a look at how beautifully Hazrat Maryam 
overcame her problems – she delivered a baby on her own and faced all the accusations patiently. Inspire yourself from Hazrat Asiya who left all her luxuries and stood up for the truth. Remind yourself of the troubles Hazrat Khadijah 
went through yet she remained calm and supported her husband ﷺ emotionally and financially. Reflect on how Hazrat Fatima had been an embodiment of sacrifice and patience in all her roles – daughter of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, wife of Hazrat Ali 
and mother of Hassan and Hussain . All these ladies had a lot of difficult situations in their life, yet never did any of those shook their faith in Allah 
.
In a nutshell, the aforementioned examples give us a few principles to help us remain calm and content in our lives.
HARDSHIPS ARE TEMPORARY – BRING OUT PROS IN CONS
Life does get messy at times. A lot of bad happens to not-so-bad people. You feel weak and there does come days when you just want to cry in a room. Yet what makes us human is the attitude to bounce back. Don’t stop. Face the problem in the best way possible and figure out the goodness in it. Take a lesson from such situations, learn from it and move on. Yes, there does lay a good in every bad we face – this is not me, but the Qur’an is saying!
“With every hardship there is ease, with every hardship there is ease.”
{Surat Ash-Sharh 94: Verses 5-6}
DON’T OVERLOOK THE “FORGET” IN THE “FORGIVE AND FORGET”
Women tend to forgive (read “seemingly forgive”) but hold grudges for quite a long time. Let it be. Whether it’s a close friend, a family member or someone you don’t even know, forgive what they did, and do a favor and forget it. Holding on to grudges or overthinking a situation leads to uneasiness and makes you restless. Recently, I realized how a simple grudge in my heart made me lose my focus in Salah. All that ran through my mind was how offended I felt. I only found peace in actually letting the thought of it go and following the “Forgive & Forget” mantra.
“Who spend [in the cause of Allah] during ease and hardship and who restrain anger and who pardon the people – and Allah loves the doers of good”
{Surat Ali Imran 3: Verse 134}
Remind yourself that Allah , the Most Merciful, loves to forgive and loves those who forgive. Remind yourself of the Sahaba who was guaranteed Jannah by the Prophet ﷺ just because he used to forgive everyone before he slept each night. Remind yourself of the fact that our beloved Prophet Muhammad had even forgiven the people of Quraish (who previously were a cause of problems for Muslims) when he ﷺ entered Makkah victoriously [1]. If that’s not enough, reflect on how much we have disobeyed Allah and how much desperately in need are we of His forgiveness!
NOT EVERYTHING WILL WORK ACCORDING TO THE PLAN
Things don’t always turn out the way you wanted or thought them to be. Your plans will backfire sometimes and your expectations will not be met at times. This is the time when, instead of getting upset, we need to reflect on the following verse:
“…But they plan, and Allah plans. And Allah is the best of planners.”
{Surat Al-Anfal 8: Verse 30}
It’s always good to have goals, aspirations and dreams in one’s life, but a Muslimah is different. Know that Allah is the one who will find a way out for you. Accept that if things don’t go as per your plan, that itself is, ultimately, part of Allah’s plan all along. Trust Allah and His plans, and that way even the worst tragedy will turn to be something amazing, In Sha’ Allah!
PEOPLE’S DEFINITION OF YOU IS “NOT” YOU
The irony of today’s world is that people will judge and comment. Everyone will have a view as to how a certain person is supposed to be or not to be, yet no one actually looks at their own self. People will comment on the way you put your hijab on; they will call you names when they see you coming back late from work; they will even backbite about a sin you did years ago and repented of. Don’t let them affect you. Don’t think you are “fat” just because someone said you’ve put on weight. Don’t assume you’re bad just because someone said so. Don’t define yourself according to others’ definition of you. Their opinion of you is not you, but just their thoughts about you. Focus on your heart and its intentions as the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said:
“Actions are but by intentions and every man will have only what he intended…”
[Sahîh al-Bukhârî and Sahîh Muslim]
Know that Allah is the best of all judges we have in this world. Don’t let the words of others demoralize you. Repent for your sins and do your actions merely for the sake of Allah , expecting a reward only from Him. You will be amazed by the change and shift this will bring in your life.
GRATITUDE
“…And few of My servants are grateful”
{Surat Saba 34: Verse 13}
Be grateful, to Allah and His people. Thank people regularly, even for the little that they do. They will start to appreciate you more, In Sha’ Allah. When you start thanking people, you will find thanking Allah much easier. Allah loves His grateful slaves. He knows that not all His slaves are actually grateful; hence, He increases those who are.
“And [remember] when your Lord proclaimed, ‘If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favor]; but if you deny, indeed, My punishment is severe.”
{Surat Ibrahim 14: Verse 7}
Written By: Fatima Amir
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