I was married to my cousin forcefully, now I am depressed.

Question:

I am very much depressed these days since I got forcefully married to my cousin that I despised from the very beginning. I just sit and cry all day because I feel like trap since there is no understanding between the two of us, I have now no interest in anything and my studies are also getting affected by all this. It’s just been 3 months and I have already become very tired of all the fights. I want to put end to all this by a Khula, but my parents are not supportive to this since their izzat matters to them more than my happiness. What should I do? please reply me, my life is at stake.

Answer:

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

Sister in Islam,

We take note of the contents of your email. We sympathize with you on the circumstances that you are facing. We understand your pain and agony.

When a person embarks upon any new task, the initial stages are always challenging. Marriage is no different. Majority of newlyweds have complications in the first couple of months. The husband and wife have to compromise a lot to make things work at first. Two individuals from different backgrounds and lifestyles have come together. There will certainly be matters upon which both agree and disagree.

You have been married for 3 months, you are newly married, we suggest you give some time to your marriage and try to make things work. Since you have only been with him for three months.

You stated, “I got forcefully married to my cousin that I despised from the very beginning”. It is possible that the fights that you and your husband are having is due to your negative attitude towards him. Change your attitude and communicate with him in a positive and assuring way. Give him love and care. He will value you and endeavour to be with you.

Furthermore, have you discussed your issue and your expectations with your husband?  Is he aware of the problems that you have with him? If you have and you still have complaints, then we suggest you involve an elder family member or a local Alim for marriage counselling.  If all honest attempts at trying to save the marriage fail, then your local Alim can advise you on the next steps.

In the meantime, turn to Allah with Salah-tul-Hajah, Dua, and Zikr.

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.