Dating in Islam

Question:

Is it permissible in Islam to do love marriage?
For example:dating a boy/girl (being boyfriend and girlfriend),chatting to each other,receiving phone calls from each other and this continues till before getting fix (engagement) with each other or before nikkah.
When the girl n boy now wants to be engaged or fix, they speak to their parents regarding this n the girl/boy ask their parents that they want to get married to someone whom they love.
Basically the boy/girl knew each other before even getting engaged or before marriage they knew each other. Some parents agree to this, whereas some parents don’t approve to this ,and if parents don’t approve to this then some boys/girls go against their parents wish n still force them to make them get married.

Nowadays, dating has become like a norm and nobody considers it a sin, What advice/ awareness should be given?
If it’s not permissible in islam to do love marriage and still people do love marriages, what exactly happens if couples do love marriage? What is the sin of doing love marriage?

Answer:

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

We commend you on your concern with regards to finding out the Islamic perspective on very practical trend and tradition prevalent around the globe.

A Muslim in this world can either live in accordance with the teachings of Islam and thus reconcile his faith with his practical life by living like a true Muslim or he can live a life that is at odds with his faith and in doing so he goes against the teachings of Islam.We were not sent into this world to make our own choices considering what seems right or wrong or what seems to be following the trend.

It is impermissible to have a normal western-style relationship as mentioned in the question. The Islamic way is the natural way. It is the way man was meant to live whereas flirting and dating are unnatural and create a desire in the heart that is difficult to suppress until man engages further and further in impermissible actions and becomes trapped by his own desires and thoughts.

As Muslims we believe that the Quran is the Word of Allah, and that Allah knows what is best for us. Allah says in the Quran:

قُلْ لِلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَغُضُّوا مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِمْ وَيَحْفَظُوا فُرُوجَهُمْ ذَلِكَ أَزْكَى لَهُمْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ خَبِيرٌ بِمَا يَصْنَعُونَ

Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.). That is purer for them. Verily, Allah is All-Aware of what they do.

(Surah An-Nur, Verse 30)

Therefore, love marriages are not permissible in Islaam. Women in Islam are regarded as special pearls. If someone wants the other, let him pay the price of resistance and request the hand in marriage. Moreover, the boy and girl involved in this haram relationship should sit down with their parents and try to get married as this will save them from harām.

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.