Please give me an advice how to keep balance between job and private life: my work is very demanding both physically and psychically although it is actually all about helping people and I love it very much. I am often so tired or tensed that I hardly finish my fard salat, do my household or play with my children. Often I cannot control my anger when my children try to talk to me.
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Respected sister in Islam,
Men and women have been given different roles to fulfil due to inherent differences that exist among them. They have different capabilities which are complementary to each other. The injunctions of Islam as decreed by Allah Ta’ala are designed according to gender differences.
In principle and according to the feminine nature and capability of women, Allah Ta’ala says,
وقَرْنَ فِي بُيُوتِكُنَّ ِ
Translation: Remain in your homes. (Al-Ahzaab: 33)
In the case of men, Allah Ta’ala says,
الرِّجَالُ قَوَّامُونَ عَلَى النِّسَاءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ اللَّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَى بَعْضٍ وَبِمَا أَنْفَقُوا مِنْ أَمْوَالِهِمْ
Translation: Men are the overseer upon women with all that which Allah has bestowed some of them over the others, and with what they spend from their wealth… [Al-Nisaa: 34]
The above two verses define the case of men and women. In view of your personal experience in life, you too will bear testimony to the wisdom of the divine injunction.
Our advice is that you prioritize your life according to the injunctions of Shariah. If you have a husband who maintains the family, you should remain at home and fulfill your main duties as a mother and wife. While you feel that you want to help people, serving your husband and children is more meritorious. You may also take out time to help people but as a secondary measure and with observing the laws of hijab.
If you do not have a means of income then you may continue to seek a source of income provided that the laws of hijab are observed.
If you feel that you are not able to fulfill the obligations of Shariah and give due time to your children, then perhaps you may adopt alternative methods, such as, reduce working hours if possible or enroll in a part-time job.
May Allah Ta’ala grant you the ability to stay steadfast on the practices of deen and may He grant you success in this world and the hereafter. Aameen.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Checked and Approved by, Mufti Ebrahim Desai.