True Love?

In today’s world, a lot of young people are afflicted by a serious illness that is even more deadly than any virus or bacteria. It is an illness that affects the heart and will cause its death, if not treated.

This illness is none other than love before marriage and it is with great sadness that a lot of youth fail to realize that in reality there is no such thing as “true” love before marriage, yes, there might be crushes, infatuations and the likes, but true love? No.

Some people might argue and say, how can you make such a bold statement?

To that I reply, love is what creates happiness not sorrow, love is what gives you a peace of mind not worry and anguish but most importantly, love is that which brings you closer to Allah Azza wajal, not that which will push you further away from Him and incur His wrath.

Yet there are a few brothers and sisters, who truly love Allah, only to find their hearts crippled by this disease, they have apparently fallen in “love” with the opposite gender (before marriage) and can’t seem to stop thinking about them and become neglectful of life as a whole.

These individuals sometimes regret falling in love and want a way out, they want a cure for this illness, but is there really a cure?

Listen to what Imam Ibn al-Qayyim Rahimahullah has to say:

“And the cure for this deadly illness (i.e. love before marriage) is for the person that is afflicted to realize that this love is only due to his/her own delusions and ignorance.

So upon such a person is to first and foremost strengthen their Tawheed and reliance upon Allah,

and secondly to increase in worship and busy themselves with it, so much so that they do not have any spare time letting their minds wander and think about their beloved.

And they should call upon Allah to protect them and save them from this evil, just as Prophet Yusuf called upon Allah and he was saved.

And they should do as he did, be as he was, in terms of ikhlaas (sincerity) and remembering Allah in abundance.

This is because if the heart is filled with ikhlaas for the sake of Allah, there will be no space left for any unlawful love to be present, rather this only happens to a heart that is empty and has no ikhlaas whatsoever.

And let such people remind themselves that whatever Allah has decreed for them is only in their own best interests, and when Allah commands something it is never to cause harm or misery to His slaves.

And let them also remind themselves that their unlawful love does not benefit them, neither in this world or the hereafter!

As for this world then they will be so preoccupied with their love that it will cripple them and will cause them to live in a fantasy world.

And as for the hereafter then it will cause them to be preoccupied with the love of the creation instead of love for the Creator!

These people need to be reminded, that the one who is emerged in something will never see its ill effects, neither will the person who has never experienced such things.

The only people who will be able to relate to them are those who have experienced the same thing but have been saved. Such people can look back and realize how evil it is.” [ad-Daa’ wa ad-Dawaa p. 300]

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6 Comments

  1. assalamoalaikum wa rehmatullahi wa barakaatuhu.
    infact i wud like to say dat its only d movies n serials n novels dat project it to be true love, otherwise in real life, theres nothing like it!!!!
    coz may people who r madly in love with each other before marriage, end up in divorce after marriage….then where did the love go????

    the only TRUE love dat exists is dat whixh Allah taala has for us, coz we can do nothing for Him, but still He loves us, although we r useless to Him.

    even ones parents will not give us a single good deed on the day of judgement, so its basically self love dat is true….

    and love of people out of blood relations, n esp all this pre marital affair is nothing.
    its a mere attraction dat u feel for d opp gender, feel nice tjinking or talking to dat person, but its smething dats hormonal, rather than real, coz we r made dat way, dat we will feel attraction frm d opp gender…..so dats y islam has enjoined seggregation of genders
    …its normal to be attracted, just like opp poles of magnet, so we need to respect d limits of shariah n keep our gaze pure frm gair mahrem….
    and realize dat its attraction not love…..coz like pple of d same gender too, but we dnt feel attraction for them, but in case of gair mahrem, we will like their qualities, also we will feel attractd to them, coz Allah ta ala has made this attraction….

    so one has to relieve himself from this mind game of media, dat this true love is soemthing really wonderful……coz it aint no love…its attraction…

    Allah tala knows best. may He keep our hearts away from all thoughts of gair mahrem…ameen.

  2. Ameen, ameen. May Allah Ta’ ala grant us all guidance and let us taste the sweetness of imaan

  3. Assalamualikum,

    Yes, it’s true indeed.One thing I like to add that people in teen thinks it’s not possible to get rid off or forget that beloved,but it’s not true actually.If somebody solely realize that it’s sinful or not fruitful at all then it’s easy for him/her to refrain himself from meeting,talking or remembering.The only thing you have to do is to believe firmly that only rulings of shariah can bring peace,happiness and the state you desire.

  4. This article is good but I think it was important to add that someone you are attracted to and feel like you “love”, could possibly be approached for marriage if the circumstances are good. That is a way out rather than being “girlfriend/boyfriend” or just liking the person a lot and committing unlawful acts. Anyway, I just feel it was necessary to remind people of that as other scholars do. If it’s not love before marriage, then it can become the “real” love after marriage. You can truly love Allah and truly love another human being. But you just have to understand that the reason you love that person and that person even existing… is BECAUSE of Allah. So love Allah ultimately. But approach that specific person for marriage if you feel you need to. Allah forgive me if I said something out of line.

  5. May Allah grant All those who intend to get married, the correct spouse إنشاء اللّهُ. And may we all be saved from the disappointment and delusions of love before marriage آمين

  6. I would like to add that music is the thing that starts creating this type of “crush” and so on. So if anybody regrets falling in love, they should control their bodies from listening to music. To do that, one should actually need to understand the Qur’an. Reciting Qur’an is the best way to avoid doing sins. They are many beautiful recitations in the internet that might help.

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