How do I regain self-esteem?

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Question:

I feel so worthless and i feel like a loser in life. This affects my Imaan and i feel lazy to do prayers.How do I regain self-esteem?

Answer:

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

As-salāmu ʿalaykum wa-raḥmatullāhi wa-barakātuh

To enhance your self-esteem, you should develop the quality of Ikhlāṣ (sincerity). If a person does all his actions sincerely for the pleasure of Allah Taʿālā, such a person will never feel a sense of a low self-esteem as he knows that Allah Taʿālā is happy with him, no matter how he feels about himself or anyone else feels about him.

The second quality you should develop is Iḥtisāb. Iḥtisāb means that you do every good action hoping and expecting the reward that Allah Taʿālā promised for that action. Therefore, when you do any good action, you do it with the strong hope that Allah Taʿālā will reward you on the Day of Qiyāmah for that action.

Whenever you feel worthless, think about the innumerable bounties of Allah Taʿālā on you, the greatest one being Īmān. Also, rather than trying to convince yourself of how good you are, attribute the good action to Allah Taʿālā, that it is solely through His Tawfīq (granting you the divine ability) that you have accomplished the good deed.

Constantly recite the following Dua which Nabi Ṣallallāhu ʿalaihi wa Sallam used to make:

«اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّيْ أَعُوْذُ بِكَ مِنَ الهَمِّ وَالْحَزَنِ وَالْعَجْزِ وَالْكَسَلِ وَالْجُبْنِ وَالْبُخْلِ وَضَلَعِ الدَّيْنِ وَغَلَبَةِ الرِّجَالِ»[1]

Oh Allah, I seek your protection from worry and grief; and from inability and laziness; and from cowardice and miserliness; and from the burden of debt; and from the dominance of men (at the time of turmoil). [Al-Bukhārī, Ḥadīth no. 6369]

And Allah Taʿālā Knows Best

 

Checked and Approved by
Mufti Ebrahim Desai


[1] صحيح البخاري (6369)

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2 Comments

  1. assalamoalaikum wa rehmatullahi wa barakaatuhu, dear sister, no one is worthless until one knows her ultimate hashr, consequence, ie either heaven or hell.in dunya u cnt consider urself worthless, becoz no matter how people see u, if u r acceptable to Allah ta ala, then u r one of the most pricelss people in the world, on the other hand if people really praise u but u r not acceptable to Allah ta ala, Allah forbid, then u r worthless……so until u realize this, u cnt be happy,….and know that now is not the time to be lazy or depressed, now one has to work for hereafter n attainment of jannah,. dont fall in the trap of satan, dat u r worthless n so in this depressed state i mght not want to do anything, not even pray….
    shrug off this feeling of worthlessness n lazyness, and get up n make most out of ur life,of ur time..

    best thing to do after prayers at proper time is to, serve ur parents, help them in all their chores, and other members of the house, esp any old person, also, be sweet tongued with people, n dnt ever say anything negative, n u r doing people a really big favour by protecting them from d evil of ur tongue, coz it hurts more than anything….give sadaqah, try to make difference in the life of people, and read good islamic books, easy good deeds by mufti taqi usmani, is a very good option, u can find it on net, so basically filling ur time with zikr, helping people will inshaAllah taa ala remove this feeling of worthlessness,…..bt wht u have to do first is to fight this laziness n be active…n say to ur self, mumin is supposed to be active..

    may Allah ta ala grant us all tawfeeq to be rehmat for all the people of the world, esp our parentz..aameen
    wassLamoalaikum wa rehmatullahi wa barakaatuhu

  2. Allah Ta’ala does not create “worthless” things dear sis. He took time to sculpt you , and that makes YOU special.

    Everyday people are making dua for the Ummah of Nabi SAWS. You belong to a sisterhood of Believing women, therefore people are praying for you everyday, because they LOVE you and wish the best for you.

    Kick start your mind, body and soul with Zikr. Immerse yourself in daily recitation of Durood, and Insha Allah you will be lifted out of this and find peace and value. Try it dear sister.

    Love you lillah

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