I am married for 5 years, my husband does not takes responsibilities of me and my children. Wherever I need to go, he says, go with your father or brother. He can go but he doesn’t out of laziness and selfishness.Whenever i need his help he sends me off to my parents for some days and tells me ”go off and ask your family for help because i am very busy in my office”. Who is responsible for me after marriage,my parents and brother or my husband?
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Sister in Islam;
After marriage, it is your husband’s responsibility to attend to your needs and the needs of his children. It is irresponsible of him to pass the responsibilities to your father and brother.
If your husband does not fulfill his duty towards you and the children, he will be guilty of negligence and also sinful. To attend to the needs of the family and assist in household duties is also a great Sunnah of Rasulullah Sallallāhu Alayhi Wasallam. Hazrat Aisha(radi Allahu anha) says Rasulullah Sallallāhu Alayhi Wasallam used to be engaged in household work until the Adhan of Salah used to be called. Rasulullah Sallallāhu Alayhi Wasallam would also sew torn patches on his clothes.
You should get around your husband and very politely explain to him how he feels. Hear him out and understand him. That attitude will help both of you navigate a common ground.
Be tactful in addressing such issues. Emotional attitudes could be counterproductive.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.