I went to America after my marriage, and I couldn’t accept the kufr environment there. My husband has moved out of America several times when I insisted, but he couldn’t settle down anywhere except America, where he is comfortable with his income and quality of life.I feel he is preferring money, comfort, status, etc. over deen. My husband expects me to obey what he is saying all the time, even when I feel that what he is saying is not right. I tried to guide my children since they were newborn, still they were affected by the environment there.They have serious lacking in deen, and they are not involved with the work of dawah.
I am very sad that my husband is still not ready from his heart ( after all my deeni effort to make him understand) to accept the challenges of staying in Muslim countries for the sake of Allah.I believe if I go back to America with the family I’m helping my family settle down in such a place where there is risk of children marrying non-Muslim and the next generation coming out of the fold of Islam. I feel it is my duty, from my experience of seeing the negative effect of the environment on my children and other Muslim children, to keep my children away from that environment at all cost. At the present situation, I consider myself a failure because I can’tsee the effect of my long term deeni efforts on my family. My questions are:
1) Is my husband allowed to move back to America in the present
situation for a job even after he has the properties I mentioned
above, risking the children’s imaan?
2) What should I do according to shariah when I feel I am risking my
children’s imaan (when my husband is being lenient on this matter),
and that my children will not be able to resist the evil temptations,
if I join my husband to move back to America?
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Your love for Deen and proper upbringing of your children is encouraging. May Allah increase your Imaan and make your children the coolness of your eyes.Aameen.
Sister, wherever you live, you will face challenges. There is no place in the world without challenges. Parents in Muslim countries as well are facing an uphill battle with their children.Drugs,intoxicants and going out is a norm among children. Do not think your children will be safe in Saudi Arabia or in Bangladesh. Much depends on how you as parents nurture your children. It is true that the American environment and way of living is a threat to ones children.However,there are many people living in America who nurture their children to finally become Huffaz and Ulama and Mufti’s. Many of whom are even my students. If your husband is highly qualified and he can make a better life in America then you should consider that. He has considered your request and moved out of America. He sacrificed to satisfy you but he is unsuccessful in his career.
The career instability of your husband can put a big strain on your marriage and on the proper upbringing of your children. What you tried to avoid by leaving America, you would still suffer that. What did you then achieve?
Sister, be objective in your decision. Do not block out your mind of going to America. You can live in America and focus on the proper upbringing of your children there. Search for a proper Muslim community in America. There are communities there led by vibrant Ulama who established Darul Ulooms and Islamic schools. We suggest you re consider the issue and make Istikhara.In the past ten years there has been a big change in America in terms of Islamic educational facilities for Muslim children. I have travelled to the U.S for more than 30 times and have many pious friends there.
And Allah Ta’ala knows best;
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.