How can communication be created between parents and children?

Question:

Please advise me regarding the following;

What is the best dua a mother could make for her child?

How do I approach my children on being punctual with salaah?

How can communication be created between parents and children?

 

Answer:

A mothers Dua for her child is most definitely accepted as her Dua has the highest level of Ikhlas(sincerity)due to the following reasons:

  • The mother has natural and intense love for her child.
  • The mother has an honest and true concern and wellbeing for her child.
  • The child’s success is her happiness.
  • The child’s pain is her pain.

There is no room of insincerity in the heart of the mother for her child. She presents a live heart to Allah and gives it all to Allah for her child.

One general and encompassing Dua is:

“Rabbana hab lana min azwajina wa dhuriyyatina qurrata A’yunin waj’alna lil-muttaqina imama.”

Translation:

“Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring who will be the coolness of our eyes, and grant us a leader from amongst the pious ones “(25:74)

The coolness of the eyes refers to:

  • Ones child having good and sound character and conduct.
  • Performing acts of virtue-Salaah,Zikr,and Tilawat of the Quran.
  • Studying hard.

In order to achieve these qualities, the Dua must be preceded and accompanied by nurturing the child towards inculcating these qualities.

The joint parental attention towards the child will make it possible to realize the ideal child. The father plays a dominating role of being firm to the child. The mother’s role is more of love and care. Her firmness is tucked and hidden in her love. The child naturally knows the firmness of the child and the love of the mother. The child has to be fed with both qualities. Firmness trains the child to do the correct things. Showing love to the child makes the child feel fulfilled and loving.

Both parents have to take an active part in all major aspects of the childs life. Make the child a recipient of discipline and love. Quality time is important to instill in them values of life.

Hereunder are some things to do to maintain good communication with ones child:

 

  • Have meals as a family.
  • Enjoy Allah’s bounties together and engage in quality discussions.
  • Play with the child and know his/her interests.
  • Know the child’s feelings and sentiments.
  • Praise the child when he/she does well. The child knows he/she is being observed and appreciated.
  • Rebuke with firmness for the wrongs and explain to the child why it is wrong.
  • Perform acts of Ibadah together-Salaah and Tilawat.
  • In the case of a father take the child to the Musjid when the child is old enough.

The biggest tsunami today is the absent parent syndrome. Whilst making Dua is most useful, it is effective if preceded and accompanied with proper care, attention, and love to the child.

 

And Allah Ta’ala knows best;

Mufti Ebrahim Desai

 

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6 Comments

  1. bintmoosa

    JazakAllahu khairan

    • Salam . Sorry i dont know how to explen my problem to u . I got 4 children marshaallah . I am having problem with my older son he left home and family for a whit girl he love . My son only 21 years old . He havent finish his study . And he spending his student loan monye on that girl . Please tell me how i can get him back .

      • Admin

        Wa’alaykum Salaam;

        Dear Sister, your query has been forwarded to our Fatwa Dept. Please note, all questions are to be submitted to the ‘submit your question’ facility provided at the top right of the website.

        May Allah bless you.

        Umm iyad
        Idealwoman.org Admin

  2. Maryam

    Jazakallah for the wonderful advices.Muftisaheb has explained the most important points in a most comprehensive manner.

  3. Asak…sir i have 1 baby girl,she is just 6 months old, n plz just advice me as i want my baby to become a hafiz in her begining age like at the age of 4 i want my baby innshallah to becom a hafiz..so plz give me advice that for this what work i have to do…plz help me innshaallah i will do the same,i want my gudiya to become a hafiz at the age of maximum 4 years,,,so i know i should start doing heard work upon her from now onwards..bt still i feel something is missing,, i wake up her by keeping audio surah bakharah..and at the time of feeding i keep surah yaseen so that she can hear the quran..bt still i feel something is missing,,plz my deeni brothers n sisters help me,,
    jazakallah.

  4. salamullah aleikum warahmatullahi wabarakatu?
    am third born for my mother, am from kenya i left my parent 2011 to south africa to look a money to rays my parent and family, am very obedient to my parent,my mother became sick and no one to help her,i was to tried my best to take to kenyatta hospital ALHAMDULILLAH she became well by Allah SW willings.
    my mother and father pray for me alot every time when i call then, and am still very down and broke fanacially. may Allah sw uplif me

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